Do You Fear Death?
by libranravenclaw
Summary: SPOILER ALERT for POTC:AWE. Lana's family has always wanted a vacation on the sea and drag her along, despite her protests and her deathly fear of drowning. Then, through the depths of a storm, she hears the words: Do you fear death?
1. Dark Water

**Do You Fear Death?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to POTC in this fanfiction. Lana, Tray and her family and fears are my own.**

_**Chapter One: Dark Water**_

The ocean was a pure, dark blue, partially reflecting the sky, though the images of clouds were distorted. Any semblance to the calm sky was lost though as wave after wave crashed against the old ship, icy droplets hitting the face of a young woman standing on the starboard side. Her small white hands clenched the railing and eyes the same shade as the sea during a storm, stared down at the water in both awe and fear. As the ship rocked, her hands would clench the railing tighter, her knuckles growing as white as bone, the skin stretched taught against them. After a few seconds, she trembled, letting out a deep breath, but not letting go of the railing. Lana didn't want to be here. She had _never_ wanted to come here. She had protested, cried, begged and wailed, trying to get her way... And yet here she was. This was a dream vacation for her family, a wish come true, but for Lana... Her father's large raise had left them with plenty of money to take the trip, and more besides, but Lana hadn't been happy. She had rejoiced for her parents, for her younger brother and sister, who seemed to share her parents joy, because it was true, they had dreampt of this for ages. Still, Lana had been adamant about not going.

Her family had thought this nonsense and had brought her along anyway. Not to spite her, Lana knew that, but because they wanted to spend time with her. That part she understood, she loved spending time with her family, contrary to the popular belief that teenage girls wanted nothing to do with parents or siblings. Lana was infinitely close with every family member and though none of her school friends shared this same trait, it was something that was simply Lana. But her family and teenage happenings had nothing to do with why Lana hadn't wanted to go on this trip.

She was scared to death of drowning. Lana feared the water, had nightmares of the ocean, and grand pirate ships, of cruises and seaweed. She shuddered, staring down at the rough waves, a small sadness hidden beneath her lashes. Swimming pools were fine, bath tubs? That was a joke. But the ocean? She would drown and no one would find her body. Lana was sure of it. Her eyes filled with tears, fearing the water, knowing, knowing...

Knowing she would die in the ocean, someday.

Lana took a deep breath, wanting to step away from the railing and the scary waves and icy coldness that lived beneath the ship, but found that she couldn't move. Lana couldn't bring herself to look away, for she had to see it, to know what would one day kill her. Footsteps behind her alerted Lana to someone's presence, she guessed it was one of her family, but not her little sister. Too heavy for that, maybe it... Her guesses were interrupted when large, heavy hands laid themselves upon her shoulders. It was her father. His bushy moustache, more gray now that dark brown, scratched her cheek as he gave her a small kiss, his eyes, the same shade as her own, sparkling with excitement.

"See, Lana? This isn't so bad now, is it? You can't tear your eyes away from the beauty of the sea." A strong gust of wind ruffled his thick, dark hair, a smile gracing his handsome face. Lana wished she could share his enthusiasm, wished she could enjoy this as he so desperately wanted her to... She answered his question about it being bad, nodding her head, finding herself unable to speak, but he misunderstood. With a soft laugh he reached up and ruffled her light brown hair, then placed another scratchy kiss upon her cheek. "I'm off to find Kara." Then his footsteps and his joyful presence were gone, allowing Lana to wallow in her fears once more.

"I don't want to die." Lana whispered softly, with menace, to the crashing waves below. Stiffly she let go of the railing and took a few steps back, her heart pounding since she now had no handhold. She took soft, shivery breaths as she moved backwards, pulling her jean jacket tighter around her frame. Her long, wavy hair whipped about in a sudden strong wind, bringing her gaze upwards and to the horizon line. Lana almost choked. Clouds were coming, big ones, dark and angry. Lana knew what her family would say, they're a ways off, they won't reach us... But that would be a lie. Somewhere within her, Lana knew it would be. Those clouds...

She shivered as she stared at the clouds, the sense of forboding becoming stronger with each second. She didn't know where her fear of drowning had originated, but she did recall a day when she had realized what the cold feeling in her stomach meant when she saw the waves. She had been ten years old, playing on a beach with her friends and had dived into the icy water that never warmed. It wasn't like a pool, with stinging chlorine, it was nigh on freezing and within moments, Lana had lost feeling in her feet. She had booked it out of the water, tasting the salt on her lips and that was when she knew. That taste, the slick, cold feeling, was telling her that the sea would be her death. Such a small thing, a silly thing and yet Lana knew then that something was wrong with the water. At least for her. She shook her head and sighed, her pale face scrunching up as she concentrated on her thoughts, instead of the clouds.

What if it was all just a silly fear? The nightmares had never happened, maybe she would be alright. But just to be safe, Lana went to her cabin and laid down to sleep.

It was much later that night, when the storm finally reached the ship, dubbed Wind Riser. Lana's fears got the best of her then, when the first droplets of rain pelted the deck and she locked herself in her cabin, hyperventilating. She huddled into a corner, listening to her family outside the door, trying to calm her, whispering empty promises of safety. Her fear increased, hearing the whoosh of the wind and seeing the rain whipped against her cabin window and then, Lana's fears began to come true. About an hour after the storm had started Lana glanced at the cabin door, her eyes opened wide with fright when she saw water seeping beneath her door. She immediately jumped up, ran to the door and heaved it open, watching in horrified silence as the water slipped quickly down the stairway and past her door. Her family was supposed to be in the galley, safe from the rain and storm, enjoying a meal, but what if they weren't? The fears for her own safety disapparated and she sprinted down the hall and up onto the deck, her tennis shoes, worn down and old, slick in the cold water.

"Mom?! Dad!" Lana shouted, looking about wildly for the galley. She turned to catch the doors opening, her younger brother, Tray, walking out into the rain. Lana breathed a deep sigh of relief, only to have it catch in her throat when the ship tossed and Tray... Tray was slipping.

"TRAY!" Lana screamed with fear. He was a tall boy, 6'0", though he was only thirteen and lanky. He was uncoordinated due to the growth spurt and never seemed to have balance. Everything was weighing against him. And then it all began to happen in slow motion. His shoes were as bad as Lana's own, slick and slippery on the deck and he was headed straight for the railing. Being so tall and gangly, the height would probably propel him overboard. Lana began running across the rain soaked deck, knwoing that if she didn't get a hold of him, he would be lost. Where was his life jacket?! She thought to herself, though she didn't consider that she didn't have hers on either. Out of the corner of her eye, Lana saw one of the crew, running towards her brother as well, but he was too far away and wouldn't make it. Lana skidded in the rain, the motion shooting her towards her brother at an alarming rate, she crashed into her brother, wrapped her arms around him and felt one of her feet push against the railing. She used her momentum to throw him away from the railing, away from the cold dark waters, away from death... And let go of him, just as the ship tipped.

Her arms pinwheeling, Lana felt herself falling backwards, towards the fate that had awaited her brother, towards the fate that she had always known waited for her. She heard her parents shouts, her little sisters sharp screaming, as the railing grazed the back of her calves. But all she saw was her brothers shocked face, dark brown eyes wide and dark, like an abyss. Seeing that he was safe, all fears and thoughts fled her mind and Lana smiled, letting out a breath.

Then she dropped into the cold water. It was as dark and as oppressing as Lana had feared and wave after wave pounded against her until she didn't know what was up or down. Everything was black and her wet, large jacket hindered her as she tried to swim. What little breath she had was tearing at her lungs and a sweet, numbing feeling was starting to pervade her limbs. Lana twisted, trying to get the jacket off, knowing she was dying and gasped when another wave hit her with such force it made her head hurt. Icy water invaded her lungs, filled her mouth with the taste of brine and salt. She choked, and sucked down more of the sea, her hearts frantic pounding beginning to slow. Three beats... Two beats... On- and then she was pulled upward, but the sea water had scorched her eyes and she couldn't see anything. the water was still pressing against her, hurting her, but suddenly she could breathe, could once more feel her hands and legs, though she couldn't move them. And out of the surrounding darkness came a young voice, a man's voice, only a few years older than herself maybe.

"Do you fear death?" With the words, Lana began to wonder if the young man was an angel, come to take her to Heaven and began crying, shaking worse than that afternoon. Her family! Her family...

"Yes! Yes, I don't want to die, please don't let me die!" Lana shouted, the press of water getting heavier by the second.

"Will you serve? One hundred years in payment-" But Lana cut him off, too scared to die, too young.

"Anything! Just don't let me die!" Lana cried, her tears burning her freezing face. Her vision began to clear and felt a hand smooth back her hair as the press of water dissapated from her lungs and body. She thought she caught a glimpse of a handsome face, dark eyes and hair, but it faded away with his words.

"Then sleep, for you have a long curse ahead of you."

_**A/N:**_ Re-written. And just so everyone knows, this is NOT a Will/OC pairing. Hope you enjoy!


	2. To Speak To The Living

**Do You Fear Death?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to POTC in this fanfiction, Lana, Tray, her family, fears and doings are my own.**

_**Chapter Two: To Speak To The Living**_

Lana's head ached with a fierceness she was sure only drinkers experienced, but she hadn't... With a start and a pain-filled gasp, Lana sat bolt upright, her heart pounding ferociously and her storm colored eyes closing with pain. The last thing remembered was Tray, the feeling of falling and the cold, dead taste of the sea and then... Lana gulped down air, as if she were still drowning and coughed after a few seconds. Her throat was raw and clenched with each breath she took, due to all the salt she had swallowed she realized. She couldn't believe it, she had survived. The sea had lost in it's fight with destiny to kill her and everyone was okay, her family, herself. She rubbed her face, feeling the puffiness of her eyes and remembered also all the crying she had done, when the young man had said -

"Do you fear death?" The voice that spoke came from Lana's right, but it wasn't the young man's voice, it was gravelly and low. She whipped her head about, wincing in pain as she nearly gave herself whiplash and nearly wanted to puke from the pain that now filled her body. She kept it down somehow though and looked up at the older man and blinked in surprise. His clothes... He looked like an era actor, dressed in old pirates clothes that... They looked pretty dang real. He seemed to be one of the crew, though Lana had never seen him before on the ship and where was her family? They should be there, rejoicing that Lana was still alive, holding her hands as she got better and finally got over her fear, since she had won. Destiny hadn't killed her. Lana suddenly noticed that the older man was holding out a mug of something hot and steaming and took it gratefully with a soft 'thank you'. He grabbed a small stool and pulled it to her bedside, sitting down on it and giving her a small smile with his watery blue eyes. Maybe he was a doctor? Lana wondered, called using the ships radio.That had to be it, he must have been a doctor on a re-enactment ship and had hustled over so fast he hadn't changed his "pirate" clothes. Lana took a sip of the liquid, recognizing that it was some sort of tea and welcomed the heat on her throat.

Lana realized he was still waiting for her answer and shook her head slowly, wondering why it had taken her so long to remember his question,

"Why do you ask? Doesn't everyone?" She answered finally, taking another sip and smiling softly at the warmth that permeated her body. The older man frowned slightly and wiped his forehead, though Lana didn't see the need, it was covered by a bandana. His eyebrows drew together in concern for a moment.

"You answered the question earlier. But no, not everyone fears death. Death is oft times the better fate though, especially this one. What are you called, girl?" The man had a faintly British accent, but his voice was so gravelly and wheezing that you could barely make it out. Lana watched the man closely, raising an eyebrow. He was her doctor and hadn't even bothered to find out her name from her parents? Even the crew knew her last name at least, Milane. Lana ignored the question though.

"Where is my family?" Lana said, and then coughed, taking a large gulp of tea this time to ease the ache. She looked up at the older man when she had swallowed and frowned. His face looked stricken, as if she had given him a shock. "What's wrong?" Lana questioned, unconciously reaching for him, but he stood up, knocking the stool over and backed away. He shook his still, still appearing shell shocked and quickly hobbled to the cabin door, throwing it open and shouting.

"Captain! Captain!" Lana watched him in silence, but after a few seconds, her heart began to pound with fear and pain. What had happened to her family? After a minute or two of the man pacing and ignoring her questions, a young handsome man strode in, his dark brown eyes filled with worry as he glanced between her and the older man. Lana's jaw dropped a little bit, not because he was good-looking, though you'd have to be blind not to notice, but because she recognized his face. He was the one who had saved her and he was also... Captain? Her heart gave another stutter. He wasn't the Captain of the Wind Riser! Where was her family? What had happened to them?! The pounding of Lana's heart grew so loud in her ears it drowned out the conversation between the Captain and his crew member. Only distantly did Lana realize this Captain had on era clothes as well. Eventually the Captain sighed and picked up the stool, sitting down on it by her bed, just as the doctor had. She looked up at him and recognized pity and sadness in those dark depths. Something was terribly wrong. Maybe she had been saved by falling into the sea, which meant her family was gone. Her parents, her siblings, oh god... But what she expected to hear didn't come.

"What is your name?" He asked softly. Lana opened her mouth, closed it. Small steps, she thought to herself. Don't think too hard.

"Lana Milane." She whispered, staring at him, no expression on her face. Soon enough he would tell her of her misfortune, that her family... Her family was-

"Miss Milane, I'm truly sorry... Your family is alive and well, for I have seen them not at all, but you... Miss Milane. I apologize, but you have, in a way, died. When I asked you if you feared death and you answered yes, I tried to give you another chance but you were fading quickly... And then you agreed to serve and... I cannot reverse it, it is the Dutchman's contract." Lana stared ta him, the pounding of her heart and head lessening, though she was still perplexed.

"And even if I did reverse it, then you truly would be dead and I don't know how I can even begin to apologize for this." The captain wore a bandanna, just like the doctor and looking between the two, Lana could see a bit of a resemblance. She wondered if they were related.

"Serve? What am I serving? I'll do whatever I can to help until we can get back to my family, but-" The captain cut her off, shaking his head sadly.

"I cannot take you to your family, Miss Milane. Not unless they die at sea. You are aboard the Flying Dutchman, you have agreed to one hundred years of service to postpone death and I wish I could make it all right for you, but I cannot reverse it. It is the law of the Dutchman." This time when he spoke, his voice was a little more forceful, but even so, Lana couldn't bring herself to comprehend it. She wasn't dead, she could feel, couldn't she? She pinched herself and then glanced at the thick, earthware mug she had been drinking out of. She was eating and drinking, and the dead don't eat.

"I'm not dead, but I'll help you, I promise." Lana told him, smiling and offering him her hand. The Captain shook his head, letting out an exasperated breath, gently shook her hand and then turned to the older man. they shared a glance before the Captain turned back to her.

"My name is Will Turner, and you may call me as such, Miss Milane. This is my father and first mate, Bootstrap Bill." Will gave her a wry smile, probably since his father's "name" sounded appropriately like a pirate. "Come with me, if you please, I would like to show you something." Will's accent was more noticeably English and made Lana give a little half smile and a blush. She slowly stood up and kept her groan inside as her stomach twirled uselessly and her clothes scratched at her, stiff with salt. Lana was amazed as Will led her up the stairs to the deck. The ship was huge, much larger than the Wind Riser, and what was it called? The Flying Dutchman. She recalled the name from tales she had heard as a child. It was a ghost ship. A small chill went through her and a bit of doubt entered her mind. She was a ghost? She followed Captain Will to the prow of the ship, and watched as he gestured to the water. It was dark, black as the night sky above them, but void of waves and ripples. Instead, it was filled with ghostly looking forms that seemed to be following the ship. Lana's lips trembled when the dinghy's appeared, a person or two a piece, each one with a lantern at the prow. She looked at their faces, the vacant expressions and then cried out in alarm when she saw the crew member that had been running to save her brother.Captain Will gave her a sad, understanding look, as if he had seen someone do this before and watched as Lana pointed to the crew member that had tried to save Tray.

"He-he...He tried to s-save Tray, but, but I reached Tray before him. And then... I went overboard, but Tray was safe. He was alive. I've died! I'm dead, I knew I would die at sea!" Lana shouted it, wrapping her arms around herself, trying to force herself to stop shaking. Captain Will and Bootstrap met each other in a glance once more, helpless, not sure of what to do for the young woman. But after a moment, it became apparent that she didn't need them, for her tremors stopped of her own will, though she still stared at the crew member sailing away.

"So I can never see my family again?" Lana whispered hoarsely, thinking of Tray and that last look on his face. Her mother and her father, the screams of little Kara, still a baby, at 7 years old. And she... Lana would forever be seventeen. This time when Will spoke, Lana turned her full attention to him.

"I don't know. I am sorry. We only make port once every ten years and... Do you think it would be good for your family to see you show up, after a decade, supposedly dead?" Will shook his head. "You will live one hundred years or more, and then you will pass. I am sorry, but I cannot help you in that way."

It was a few days before Lana began her work. For being Captain of a ghost ship, William Turner was a very kind man and he gave her some time to grieve in private. One of the days he spent with her, telling her of his own tale. His beloved wife, Elizabeth and their son together, also named William. Distracted, Lana had felt better, but even though Will was sympathetic and shared her feelings, she wanted little to do with him, or anyone else. At least for a while. Three days passed before Lana began working. After all, she needed to start sometime, she would be here for the rest... For one hundred years, or more. Her life was over. Finding Will didn't prove to be difficult, since he stood in the middle of the deck, shouting out orders and looking the perfect pirate. Lana had discarded her clothes and taken up some she had found below. They had needed mending, and though she had little hand with sewing, she knew enough to fix them to roughly her size. Apparently, time was different with Captain Will and his crew. He didn't seem to notice that it had been the year 2007 when he had saved her from death, and when he told her of his own tale, hundreds of years must have passed. Lana found herself wondering whether Elizabeth and Will's son, were even still alive.

"Uh, Captain Will." Lana said softly, approaching and feeling strange, wondering about his poor family.Will turned to her and gave her a small smile, though she noted that it didn't reach his eyes. "What will I do as work?" She questioned and then blinked, for it had thrown Will for a loop. He opened his mouth and then closed it, pursing his lips and thinking.

"Well, you are the first woman aboard the Flying Dutchman. What would you _like_ to do? There is always work and... Some of the work might best be done by a woman. You can have your choice of any, save for lifting any cargo we pick up." Will gave another smile, this time referring to her small stature. Since Lana agreed wholeheartedly with that statement, she nodded, but before she could open her mouth, Will spoke once more.

"I will ask though, that you take lessons in swordplay from myself and some of the crew. You'll never know when it could come in handy." The seriousness with which Will spoke made Lana nod again, this time her eyes void of laughter. Lana had always been interested in Ren Faires and the people who would sword fight, but it was true. This was a different time, a different realm and Lana might need to learn how to protect herself. She thought over other things she could do in between the swordplay lessons. Cooking was out, not that Lana could cook all that much anyway. She had had a small run-in with the Frenchman who ran the galley and didn't want to cross him again. Bad luck, he had called her, a woman upon a ship. Will had ignored it, but it had scared Lana away from ever helping out the cook. Sewing? Half the men did that better than she did, so she would probably ask some of them for lessons on that too. But... Along with Ren Faires, Lana had been a bit of a history nut, could recall most of her history lessons from fourth grade and onward. One of them included a trip to Sutters Fort, where they learned how to weave baskets, make candles and braid ropes.

"I do know a few things I could do. Weaving, making candles or braiding ropes.. I can barely cook and well... Sewing isn't my forte." Lana held out her arm and the mangled sleeve as proof. Will blinked, obviously surprised and another smile escaped, this time a real one. Braiding ropes, making candles and weaving... For one hundred years. It was going to be a very boring century. After a moment though, Will nodded in agreement. Lana watched him, knowing that being Captain probably was a little more exciting, but even that would get tedious, especially since Will would be stuck here for eternity. Will showed her to the place where a few of the other crew members were repairing ropes and stood by while they showed her their unique way of doing it. Lana showed them her own in turn and felt slightly smug when one of the men said it might hold up better than the technique they had been using.

"How did you come across these talents?" One of the men asked and Will stepped closer, obviously to hear as well. Lana froze for a second, wondering if talking of her time, the future essentially, would mess things up here.

"My uncle worked on a naval ship for quite a few years." She croaked out and then hurried on. "He doesn't have any children and so he spent much of his time with myself and my other siblings, teaching us what he knew." Which was true, her uncle had been in the Navy, he had no wife or children and doted upon Lana and her siblings often. The truth was, that Lana had a mind that absorbed the oddest knowledge. From that single field trip, from history books or movies... Maybe that knowledge would help in the end. As the day of work drew to a close, Lana found herself dining with Will and Bootstrap, her mind continually coming back to Will's family.

"Your wife, Elizabeth and your son... How long has it been since you've seen them?" Lana found herself asking and immediately wished she could take it back. It looked like Will had been slapped. he answered straight away though.

"A few weeks over nine years. Just over a year before I can make port again, see them once more. My son is now nineteen and has only seen his father once." Will looked angry at the thought and shook his head. Bootstrap gently clasped his sons shoulder, but said nothing. They continued to eat and after a few moments, Lana found she could stand their company no longer.

"Thank you, I need... I need some fresh air." Lana gasped and hurried up onto the deck. She didn't blame Will his sadness. What would it be like, to know your family was there, waiting for you, yet you could only see them once every ten years? To know, that you were immortal, forever young, and each time you saw them, they would be growing older before your eyes? She wanted nothing more than to be with her family, but she thought of their reactions, if she showed up on their doorstep, ten years from this point. Horror, disbelief, they might think it a trick, it might hurt them all the more.

Though Lana had always been afraid of the ocean, the inner peace on board a ship didn't scare her in the least. But maybe her fear was gone, because she was already dead and didn't need to worry about dying again. The wood that made up the ceilings and walls and the deck were all silvery gray, something she didn't recognize, but it was beautiful. That night, laying in her cabin, the rocking of the ship lulled her to a sleepiness. She lay in her cot, blinking wearily as she listened to the men above, singing something joyful. She wondered how long she could tolerate all the male company before she was dying for the need of another female. Lana sighed, not content with the fate she had chosen for herself and fell into a dreamless sleep.

It felt like weeks, but it was only days, before Lana and the other two crew members, Benjamin and Henry were finished with every single rope they could find. Henry was older, in his sixties at least and weather-worn, but he was kind and reminded Lana of her grandfather. Benjamin was in his thirties and was forever talking about his lady love that he had left behind and how, one day, they would meet again in Heaven. After they were finished, Lana was left with little to do, for a large round of souls had come in and Will had no time for swordplay lessons just yet. She couldn't make the candles, because the Frenchman in the galley handled that and didn't want her help. Lana didn't want to give him help, so they were suited to being away from each other. She still wondered at the fact that there was even a galley on the ship. Hadn't they all died? What did they need to eat for? But she hadn't bolstered up the courage to ask just yet, so she stuck with eating when it was called for.

Each day, Lana drew into herself, less talkative, thinking only about one thing. Her family. She would never get to see Kara grow up into the beautiful woman Lana knew she would become, never see Tray graduate from high school... So many things she thought she would be there for had been snatched away from her, but Lana couldn't regret it. She wouldn't have been able to forgive herself if she had let Tray drown and what then? Would Tray have been serving the sentence of one hundred years on the Flying Dutchman? Lana simply couldn't comprehend it. And she wondered how her parents were. They would be devastated, she knew that much, but she hoped they would be alright. Lana also wished that she had hidden her fear of the ocean, what if they blamed themselves by remembering all the times she had refused the trip?

"One hundred years seems like an eternity, when all you can think of is what lay behind you." Bootstrap Bill's husky voice drifted to Lana's ears as she looked over the starboard side. She hadn't jumped, for his limp had alerted her of his coming, but Lana was still nervous. Bootstrap leaned on the railing next to her, staring into the water, which for the moment, was nearly clear of souls. The duty of guiding them had already been finished that day. Or night, for it was always dark and starry here.

"Would it be the smart thing then, to forget?" Lana whispered, sighing softly and leaning her chin into the palm of her hand. Out of the corner of her eye Lana could see Bootstrap shake his head, his paleness a beacon in the dark.

"For you, anyway, to forget would be a horrible thing. For then you would regret what you did, save anothers life." Lana did jump then, she hadn't thought that Bootstrap would know, but then she remembered speaking of it to Will. No wonder, Bootstrap was his father and Lana had no doubts there were very few secrets between the men. Her eyes, reflective of the dark waters surface, flashed to Bootstrap's face and then back down, back to gaze at the thing that had killed her.

"A brother, Will told me. A younger brother. Do you regret it?" Bootstrap asked, giving Lana what could only be called a father's understanding smile. He already knew her answer and his words had confirmed her thoughts. Will kept no secret from his father.

"Honestly, how could I? All I could think was that I had to save him, I had to grab hold of my baby brother. Tray and I were close, unlike some siblings I've seen before. Any problem we had, we shared it with one another." Lana shook her head. "I would have regretted it the rest of my life, if I hadn't saved him. But then, it would be the same for any of my family." Suddenly Lana remembered the look on her brother's face, his dark brown eyes, as wide as a chasm in the earth and the shock. He had been safe, that was all Lana could think about, but what had her death done to her younger brother? A shiver went through her as she turned her gaze back to Bootstrap Bill.

"At least you died in an honorable way. At least you know one good thing came from your death. Not all of us... Maybe not any of us, have died for that reason, not even Will." Bootstrap told her, patting her back as he turned to walk away. A thought suddenly came to Lana's mind. Had Will ever sent letters to his wife, to Elizabeth? And if he had... Then how? For a moment Lana wanted to keep the question to herself, but she had to know.

"Bootstrap? Will... He spoke of Elizabeth and how much he missed her... Have they never sent letters to one another?" Lana asked, realizing how stupid the question sounded. The Flying Dutchman ferried the souls of the dead to the afterlife, how could they send letters? Bootstrap turned to her, frowning and then slowly shook his head. He went over her once with his eyes, as if wondering whether she would throw herself from the Dutchman and then limped away, mumbling beneath his breath. Lana watched him and then turned back to the water, pursing her lips. There had to be a way to contact the world of the living. There had to be.. And then Lana choked as she hit upon something.

She had once read of a woman recieving a letter from her dead husband, a husband who had died at sea... Through a corked bottle. Lana tripped over herself, starting to run to the cargo hold, knowing paper was kept somewhere down there and then froze. She would need a bottle as well, but there was no way she would empty out a whole bottle of rum, Lana had the feeling that it wouldn't go over well. Empty bottles were kept in the galley though... Her thought processing stopped again. The Frenchman wouldn't be happy to find her snooping around in the galley, so she figured that the bottle was best kept for last. Paper she could find, a pen and ink would be inside Wills cabin, the bottle in the galley. Lana didn't want to consider asking permission, they might decide to give her an escort if it was against the rules and then she would never get it done.

But if that dead man had sent his wife a letter, Lana was sure she could do it as well. Tray had the right to know of her fate and Lana knew that her family would stay close to the ocean, for a while at least, to try and find her body. Lana shuddered again, she didn't want to think of herself dead, even though she was and so pushed the thought away. All she needed to focus on, to think about, was the way to contact her family.

_**A/N:**_ Second chapter re-written! The third chapter will be up sometime soon.


	3. Message In A Bottle

**Do You Fear Death?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to PotC in this fanfiction. Lana, Tray, her family and fears are my own.**

_**Chapter Three: Message In A Bottle**_

Lana crept into the galley, her footsteps soft and silently took stock of her surroundings. The Frenchman slept opposite the fire, his thin, wiry frame curled into a ball, almost like a dog. Lana hesitated, knowing that if he woke, she would be in a load of trouble, mostly with him, though she knew Will would wonder why she had been sneaking into the galley of all places. She never truly felt hungry, or thirsty and her body had since healed from the wounds she had recieved upon death. Will had told her that she had slept for quite a long time and before she had awoke, she had been slightly bloated, like someone would appear if they, say, drowned. She gave a small shudder and took a few steps, freezing when a floorboard creaked beneath her. The Frenchman snored on, his chest slowing rising and falling beneath the thin blanket he had thrown over himself. It was much too warm inside the galley and Lana wondered that he could sleep even with that flimsy thing over him. The ship never tipped, or rocked more than a tad and it was easy to gain sea legs here, so Lana wasn't worried about any sudden shifting in the ship.

However, she was worried about finding the empty bottles. There were many cupboards, all with small latches, so if the ship _did_ tip, the doors would stay safely shut. Kneeling quietly, Lana opened the first cupboard, finding pots and pans and groaned internally. With her luck, it would be the last one she reached, which also happened to be the closest one to the cook. She unfastened at least eight latches, searched cupboards and latched them all back up, before she found empty wine bottles. She almost crowed with triumph, but a snort from the Frenchman kept her quiet. She selected one from the very back, so it wouldn't appear as if someone had been within them recently and cradled it between her legs as she closed the cupboard, slowly latching it back up. Footsteps, the night watch, carried themselves past the galley, voices hushed in whispers. Lana held her breath, staring away from the cook, knowing that when you slept you would sometimes wake, if someone stared at you too hard. The voices and footsteps were gone, the only sound the continued snorts and snores of the Frenchman. She released the breath she had been holding and stood up, forgetting that she had set the bottle between her legs. It clanked to the floor, but didn't break. Lana sucked in air as the cook grumbled and sat up, rubbing his eyes heavily. Seizing her chance, Lana grabbed the bottle and on swift and quiet feet, excited the galley before he could finish rubbing his eyes. Her heart was still pounding crazily in her chest though and so Lana hurried back to her cabin, stuffing the bottle in the makeshift waistband of her pants so she wouldn't have to explain why she was carrying around such a thing. She didn't want them thinking she was hiding it away to drink either, so she would need to get into Will's cabin as soon as possible.

The next day, her swordplay lessons began. When Lana woke, it was to find that it was _truly_ day, there was sunlight and everything and Bootstrap was placing a wooden play sword in her hands. Lana blinked, and opened her mouth to ask where it had come from, but Will began his instruction. It was tasking and hard and though Lana was in shape for _her_ era, she was a softie within Will's. After an hour, at least a hundred knocks to her arms and legs and straining muscles, Will big her rest.

"You make it look effortless." Lana complained, gulping down water that Bootstrap had brought. Will shook his head, smiling and looked off into the distance, remembering.

"Elizabeth always said the same thing." He shook his head again and seemed to come out of his reverie. "I think that we may have to do with you, what I did with Elizabeth as well. We'll still practice the easiest of the techniques, but for now I think we'll work up your stamina." Internally Lana cringed, she knew what this was coming to, she had to do it within her P.E. classes in school. Running.

"You look as if you've eaten maggots." Will told her, laughing. Lana gave him a small smile back.

"Running, am I right?" Will didn't look surprised, but nodded his head.

"Yes, we'll start it slow though, don't worry over it too much. Elizabeth was softer than you when we first started." And so days passed and Lana gave little thought to her letter and the bottle hidden in what little meager clothes she had inherited from the men on the ship. The exercise and the learning was more exhilarating than Lana would have thought and both Will and Bootstrap were telling her wonderful tales of the sea. Many of them involved a man named, and they insisted on the _Captain_, Captain Jack Sparrow. And though the tales were filled with sea monsters, like the Kraken of legend, and cursed gold that turned men into zombie like creatures, Lana found herself believing them. Some of the men would join in and told her of being led by Davy Jones, of being half-men and half-sea creatures. And though she believed, she wondered how some of these people could miss being recorded in history. Surely she would have heard of Jack Sparrow, who was hated by the East India Trading Company, a notorious pirate who was brilliant and yet most of the time, drunk. When Lana was little, before her fears of the sea were realized, she had eaten the tales of pirates up with a vengeance. She knew of Anne Bonney and Mary Reade, of Blackbeard and Calico Jack. There was Long Ben and Bartholomew Roberts... But Jack Sparrow, Barbossa or a female King of Pirates, one Elizabeth Swanne? She had never heard of them. _How_ had they escaped the notice of history?

Of course, she couldn't bring up the pirates she knew of, she didn't know what year it was and whether they had even existed yet. Or if it was happening at that exact moment. She did, however, ask why they were now bathed in daylight.

"We're on our way to pick up provisions. Well, Henry, Bard, Ian and Jason are anyway. The rest of us will stay upon the ship." Lana wondered at this as well, so they were now in the "real" world? But which era? Hers, or Will's? When they drew up in view of a dock, Lana's heart sank. It was Will's era. They were near Tortuga, he told her and it definitely wasn't a place for most women. Lana watched in silence though as Will entrusted Henry with a missive, sealed with dark red wax and knew with certainty, that it was for Elizabeth. She wondered whether Will had told his wife of finding the strange young girl, who refused to believe she was dead, who missed her family with a desperate need, who... Who had a chance to now get her own letter going. Lana also mulled over the fact that Bootstrap had lied to her, maybe so as not to give her hope to go back. For all she knew, the moment she left the ship, she would turn to dust. But she now remembered why she had felt such hope before she had begun the swordplay lessons. The letter to her family. She had the bottle, now all she needed was a few minutes to write a letter. Once Henry and his small group had left for Tortuga, Lana stole away to Will's cabin, standing just inside the door, listening for anyone coming close. Will would stay on deck, to make sure Henry and the others got back all right, and Bootstrap didn't go into Will's cabin, because even though Will was his son, Will was also his Captain.

It didn't take Lana long to find the utensils to write and wished she had stuck a regular pen in her jeans, rather than having to use the quill. It didn't want to work with her and her letters were rather blotchy and messy, but you could read it, could tell it was her handwriting. It was short and she knew that it would distress them, but at least they would know she hadn't died... Hadn't... Lana's tears smeared her signature.

_The Milane Family,_

_Los Angeles, Bakers Street_

_Everyone, I don't know if this will reach you, I hope it does. I know you wouldn't believe me if I told you what was happening, but I'm alright. I hope all of you made it out of the storm safe. Tell Tray I'm sorry, but I would do it over, saving him. I'll see you all again one day, and until then, all of my love._

_Lana Milane_

She wrote the address on the outside of the paper, curled it up and stuck it in the bottle, corking it tightly so water couldn't permeate it. She wouldn't be able to send it yet, not until they got back to that... _Other_ realm. Then she set it back within the confines of her clothes and settled herself down to wait. She hadn't been caught.

Lana was asleep when Henry and the others returned, but Bootstrap came to wake her, saying that old Henry had brought her something special, since she was the Lady of the Dutchman. Lana had risen, curious but tired and gone to the upper deck as Benjamin took the helm, taking them back to that strange other place full of starry nights. Will beckoned her over, into a small circle of the crew to listen. Bard, named Bard for his fascination with stories, was giving them all the news of the year, what had been going on in England, and what was happening with the EIT company. As soon as Bard was finished, Henry pulled Lana aside, gaining everyones attention.

"Figures th' Lady o' th' Dutchman should have a' somethin' special, eh?" Henry's gap-toothed smile filled Lana with joy as he presented her with a slim box, as long as her arm, and about as thick. Lana blinked, wondering what it was and some of the men laughed.

"We thought it'd be a dress, Henry!" They told him, still laughing amongst themselves. Henry grumbled at them.

"What use'd a dress be? She gonna wears all them petticoats while scrubbing the deck?" He scoffed and then presented the box to Lana, urging her to open it. Curiousity getting the better of her, Lana opened the box and gasped, delighted. It was a sword, made for someone of her stature, small and slim. It was simple, there were no designs etched anywhere, the handle had no tassels or bobbins, it was just a sword, made for someone small. Lana couldn't help herself, she placed a kiss on Henry's withered cheek and took it out of the box, testing the weight in her hands. It felt _right_. Will seemed as surprised as the rest of them, so it had obviously been Henry's idea and Lana was pleased that she had made more than one friend within the crew. It would be a long century if they hated her.

"O' course, you won't be able ta use it until Captain says you're a ready." Henry told her seriously. Lana laughed softly.

"I agree, otherwise I would only end up hurting myself." Lana put the sword in Will's care and watched in silence as he took it to his cabin, putting it in a safe place. After the excitement of getting provisions, that Lana was still somehow sure they didn't need, she was allowed to wonder back below and try and go to sleep. The sounds of the ship were soothing now, instead of a fearful reminder of destiny and death. But it was still difficult, laying alone, with no thoughts to distract her, to believe this was happening. The Flying Dutchman? It was a ghost tale. The Kraken? She could believe it was a giant angry squid, after all, it could have been some remnant of a dinosaur era, but she wasn't sure it would follow the commands of a ship Captain. And still, all these tales about Jack, _correction_, Captain Jack Sparrow. Lana wondered what would have happened had she died upon land. Would she have gone to Heaven? Or was there some type of ghostly land version of the Dutchman, who took souls into service? Lana sighed and finally settled into an uneasy sleep.

"ALL HANDS ON DECK!" The shout rang through Lana's head, and she whirled over, falling out of her cot. The shout came again and the sound of running feet was nearly deafening. Lana found herself following orders with a swiftness she didn't know she had, following the rest of the men up and falling into whatever light work she could find. She wondered at the urgency with which the men were working, but when she heard the sound of rushing water, figured it out. Her eyes bugged out of her head and she looked around wildly to find Will or Henry or Bootstrap, someone who would explain.

Bard saw the panic in her eyes and patted her shoulder before he finished securing a sail line.

"No worries, lass. The Dutchman is a ghost ship, aye? It can become one with water. Still, going straight down can make us lose canons and such if we're not careful. We have to secure everything, come with me." Bard nodded toward another sail line, so Lana fell into work. Though she trusted that they would be alright, Will didn't look worried and Bard seemed completely at ease, a sliver of doubt was stuck within her chest. It was the pounding waves all over again, the darkness of deep water... Every now and then she would let out a strangled gasp, but none of the men seemed to notice and soon enough the only thing they had left to do was hold on.

"Come now, tight hold lass! Elsewise you'll be torn away by the water!" Bard told her quickly as they approached the drop off, the sound of rushing water growing increasingly louder. Lana squeaked with fear and braced herself, copying Bard's example. As they began to go over the waterfall Will shouted orders to hold on and the stragglers quickly followed suit, just as they began to _sink_. The ship began to sink into the water, not quite yet on the edge of the drop off.

I'm going to die all over again, Lana kept thinking to herself, wind rushing past her. It ruffled her clothes and her hair, making her blink so the whipping strands wouldn't get into her eyes. The ship was sinking faster now and she could feel the prow beginning to tip over the edge. Ocean water began to slap onto the deck, quickly rising past Lana's ankles, up to her knees, then her stomach. It was cold, but not the freezing cold she had experienced when thrown off the Wind Riser. It was the coolness of lake water, of a night breeze in the early spring and then it was suddenly swallowing the ship. The water flew past her face, like wind, twisting and turning, hurtling through whatever seperated dimensions and then-

"Oh god." Lana choked as the water spilled off the deck, off the sides of the ship and they were left dry and cool a top starry waters. Her stomach twisted in protest and Bard spied the look on her face. He chuckled gently and patted her on the shoulder again.

"You'll get used to it." He assured her and then headed back below deck, probably to resume his sleeping shift. Lana was awake now and had no urge to even try and lay anywhere, but she did sit down where she was, next to the port railing amongst ropes, so her stomach could settle. Bootstrap almost limped past, but spotted Lana at the last moment.

"Ah, there you are. Not too sick, are you?" He questioned solemnly. When Lana shook her head and slowly got up Bootstrap nodded to Will, who stood at the helm. "Captain wants a moment of your time." The feeling of sinking suddenly seemed to enter Lana's chest and she wondered if her bottle and message to her family had been found, but when she approached Will, it was to find that he was smiling. She'd never seen him look so happy, _ever_. Not in the few weeks she had been here and by the looks the rest of the crew seemed to be giving him, neither had they.

"Yes, Captain Will?" She questioned, nervously smoothing the sleeves of her shirt. Will blinked a few times, then turned to look at her.

"Oh, Lana. I actually wanted to thank you." At this Lana felt puzzled, thank her for what? She had done piddley jobs around the ship so far, hadn't even gotten to the _real_ swordplay lessons... Her rope-making wasn't _that_ good either. She opened her mouth to speak, but Will cut her off. He could see her confusion.

"You asked my father about letters. I had never... I had never considered it. Elizabeth and my son will be... Thank you. It was a gift, having you ask that." Lana flushed and looked down at the deck.

"Well, it was just a question. I'm... I'm glad I could help you though, Will." Lana gave him a wry smile and then walked away. She felt slightly guilty now, but she wouldn't give up. Lana still had to get her message to her family. Not too long passed before most of the crew were below decks again, the sound of their snoring drifting up to Lana's itching ears. Every noise seemed to be Will or Bootstrap, ready to catch her. The souls were few and far between in the water, using the Dutchman as a marker to their next world and the souls could care less about Lana. Still, everything was watching her. She took a deep breath, bustering her courage and shimmied up the prow and into the sort of mouth they had carved into it. Will had told her that he had once hidden himself within it, to spy upon Davy Jones and here, she had no worries of anyone seeing her.

Lana pulled the bottle from her waistband and held it up. She checked to make sure it was water tight and then, for a few moments, stared silently into the starry water. This was it. If her family got the message, they would have some reassurance, though she knew it would bring more questions, rather than answers. But...

"I want to be alive." Lana whispered sadly, fat, pearly tears rolling down her cheeks. Her eyes grew red from the tears and she sniffled after a few moments, but finally, she held the bottle out. "I miss you all so much." Lana told the bottle and then, shakily, let it go. It dropped into the water, the stars rippling across the surface and bobbed up and down for a few moments. She watched silently, until the slow, soft current carried it in the opposite direction of where the souls were going. She watched until it was just a speck within her line of sight and then, until she could see it no longer. Lana had done it, and no one had caught her.

_**A/N:**_ Chapter three! I debated on a few things, and I'll put those in my profile notes, but I think it turned out okay. Review and tell me what _you_ think!


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